Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Ambitious for the zone !

When my husband of 25 years first came to meet me formally, as happens in all arranged marriages, he very perceptively sensed my restlessness and announced to my Dad on his way out of our Fauji drawing room, “Your daughter is very ambitious”. My Dad responded, “It’s not very nice sometimes to be so ambitious”. They had joined forces even before the first laavan phere.

It is a quality I have apologized for since. It is a virtue I have harboured guilt over. It is a strength that has made me feel small at times.

Why is ambition such a loaded word? Or does it have more to do with the gender? Is the only definition of ambition the stereotypical one, ambition as in naked, aggressive, get ahead at all costs ambition?

Mine has been the ambition for the “zone”. My desire was to give my two girls the education of Princesses. Let every single faculty of theirs be stretched and sowed and aired and nourished, I told myself. I wanted to give them each, a pair of strong wings and deep, very deep roots so that they could become the most authentic individuals they were destined to be.

Did I rob them of their childhood? Did I want to make them me? Were they pushed too hard? Have I been trying to live through them? I don’t know.

I do want them to value the quest for that zone though. Above all, let them develop the will for the zone. Beyond enjoyment of the senses, above relationships, apart from the daily living....to once experience that rare moment in space and time when you are one with the master mind and on top of whatever it is you are doing. Are they confident enough? Have they practised enough for their performance or learning to be automatic? Can they focus and refocus? Have they the strength to let go of the inevitable lows?

This has been my ambition. Ambition for them to be wired and on the ball. Ambition for them to extend their circle of influence so that they are able to bring good to many more lives. Ambition for them to experience that one, channelled, energized, superlative and rapturous kick ass show when it will all seem to have just happened on its own...


Kartik said...

Ambition can be a wonderful thing. To me, it means living as much in our higher self as we can, as often as we can.

Mala said...

Hi Chachi,
Great that you have your very own blog. Read a couple of them and simply love the flow, clarity and maturity of thought, touching upon very basic subject matter of life, which only gets more complex, intriguing and complicated when one delves into it
Your ardent blog follower

Honey Sangha said...

Welcome Mala !Thank you.

Aqseer said...

Momma. No, no, no. I am glad that I dive into a pool and do a little better than helicopter stroke. I'm glad I learnt discipline and three dance forms. It was amazing while it happened, it taught us what we could accomplish, and the benefits stay with us- we can never forget how to dance, or swim, or handle an instrument.

Minnie said...

Neerja Aunty,

Beautiful and inspiring. Love your heart out on a sleeve in all the blogs.

So true, honest and wonderfully expressed.


Honey Sangha said...

Thank you Minni. You have given me the title to my book: "Heart on sleeve"