Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Nothing is a given

If there is any lesson at all I have learnt, in these two score years and more, it is this: nothing in life is a given. In my dictionary, everything is to be earned. One’s peace, happiness, prosperity, none of this may be presumed as a given. Yes, there are people who do seem like they have all the luck in the world but really, who is to say what is really going on with these haloed folks.

Aqseer in Belgrade Central
Sadly, one of the human life’s most abused aspects, taken for granted and kicked around is that of personal relationships. Families are the worst culprits many a times. You wonder where, how and why the myth of nurturing and nourishing units started. Theoretically, a family ought to be an empowering and enabling dynamo of a fuselage. In reality, there is no dearth of bands that cripple and crush. Perhaps they assume that the common plasma running in their veins will keep their lives permanently sparkling with the silver dust of loyalty and love. Bonds are amazingly presumed to be a given, where there is a genetic flow chart in evidence.

Aqseer with Asawari and her home-stay Mom Nada
The fact is that like everything else in life, family joy needs work, planning and perseverance. There are focal points yes, the chief radiators of warmth and connection, cementing ties and holding it all; very often it is the mother who is the glue that keeps everyone together. She does this by reminding everyone of the significant family dates, nudging members towards each other with her carrot and the stick tango and by plugging into the emotional ether of the clan. Behind every close knit family, there is someone on the ball, patching, soothing, reassuring and appreciating.

Roman ruins in Nis
When Asawari left home on the international program, there was a real and genuine fear of a distance creeping in, of the sisters drifting apart, of the family and her losing out on each other. An effort had to be made to keep the connection pulsating and meaningful. This is not to say that children leaving home set out to break away for good but the lack of physical proximity does have the potential to drain the ties, if not guarded against.

A family is one of nature’s most beautiful gifts.

A family that has been invested in and is a life affirming kindred, in the true spirit of the word is a blessing indeed.

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