Showing posts with label Sexual violence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexual violence. Show all posts

Monday, January 21, 2013

New Gender Values


Teachers are human. They need periodic nudges to remind them how powerful they are.

The demands of a regular school day tends to lull them into thinking an efficient run through has been good enough. But every teaching day gone by without having inspired a child or forced them to think has been a monumental, criminal waste.  It is one more day of abandonment; another 24 hours we have left them at the mercy of the Radio FM blaring its Fevicol song, the late night serial eulogizing weeping women or a facebook update celebrating risky behavior.


For all the bluster of India’s economic forges, equality is struggling to happen here. There is a swelling unease at the widening chasms: Indo-Pak, VIP-Aam Aadmi, Police-Citizen, Traditionalist-Progressive, Dalit-Brahmin, Penthouse class-Basement underclass…all brewing under the dark shadow of corruption, a hazed out bureaucracy and our dyslexic government. Watching this national hutspot going bad is the mushrooming middle class, nursing its heartburn and fighting down a reflux.

The regular textbook can hardly justify and limit knowledge exchange taking place in the classroom under these circumstances. Students need help, more than at any other time in Indian history, to make sense of their environment. Indian ionosphere is sick with toxin. There are dishonest advertisements, sexually charged songs, irresponsible messages of pornography, pressures of competition and the constant struggle for acceptance and a dignified existence.

Parents are just about able to keep the physical nurture of their progeny going in a system that will not guarantee them efficiency nor safety and certainly not any facility. That leaves the teachers with class rooms that have become the new ground zero, the only spaces with a semblance of sanctity, authority and naivety conducive to instilling healthy beliefs. The software wiring of young minds has to happen in schools while the students are young enough to harbour an inherent sense of right and wrong, fair and unjust.

Teachers have to remind themselves often of the huge investments they are making in their students. Their children listen to them. Classes have to be told that the human reality is changing and that we need new recipes for survival. They have to be spoken to of the skewed gender ration that is threatening peace and democracy in the nation. It must be explained how we are creating bare branches on family trees by killing baby girls before they are born. What are the surplus men going to do? They will live and roam in loose groups of unattached, unemployable cess pools of anger, with a nil stake in societal order; all the time blaming successful women for their own failures.

This generation must not grow up thinking that girls are fairy tale characters, and boys prince charming on horseback. Let them appreciate that the two genders are real people with real problems. They will see that the roles that worked when we were a farming community no longer apply in our modern, industrialized, information driven democracy. Girls deserve permission to be as naughty as boys who in turn ought to feel free to use their tear ducts! Boys should be able to study psychology and girls should be able to join the National Defence Academy. Far more than femininity or masculinity, it is humanity that our survival needs cultivating today.

In time, the young will grow up to realize the challenges ahead; the immutable but bitter truth that whenever a power equation is threatened, balance has to be wrested; it has never been given on a platter. For this, they have to develop an ease with discourse, debate, dissent. The current rigid hierarchical structures employed in most schools heap shame upon them. They need liberation to follow their hearts and listen to their own voices so they can grow up with a strong sense of self-esteem. It will be the modern young’s duty to contest and protest.  Every word, every thought, every gesture counts. Fundamental rights for all, irrespective of caste, colour, creed, gender, status, religion is the goal we are staring at and these are not just western values; they are universal, humane values.

The human race is in a process of evolution, of evening out power. The rich have fortressed themselves, much like the Ostrich. While the rest of us wait for speedy justice, accountable leaders and a protective police force, we can embrace gender sensitization. We can change our behavior, beginning with an empathy with our own and the other gender. It is time to examine long held beliefs and question the realities everyone thought they knew.

A very close, inter dependent and transparent world is growing around us. No one can survive in this spacecraft like claustrophobic closeness unless they are good human beings. Gender sensitization is a step in that direction. There is a call for systemic changes.  If we do not alter our ways, we are going to leave behind a terrifying world for our children. We owe our young the space and freedom to achieve their highest potential.

Teachers are not merely uniquely placed or wholly equipped to prevent gender becoming their students’ destinies; they in fact are the only ones in any position to do so.

Note: With cerebral inputs from Aqseer.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Onus

The two convicts in the Pune BPO employee rape-cum-murder case, Purshottam Borate and Pradip Komokate, have been sentenced to death, reported the IBNLive.com today.


News of sexual violence against women sends me into an overdrive.I am approaching fifty but am as angry, as touchy about this business of the second sex as I was, thirty years ago. The reason is not far to see. I had liberal parents and was raised to like myself. My ultimate moment of empowerment came from my mother. She sat me down one day, as I was leaving for my married home and told me gravely, "Adjust and respect all but do not, do not ever, take nonsense from anyone. You deserve to be happy." 


Most Indian mothers are too deeply conditioned by centuries old mores to dole out this particular brand of advice to their daughters, as they embark on their adult pathways. Fortunately for me, I knew of another. This brave lady had packed her newly married daughter off to the US with a return ticket in an envelope. Her parting words were, "Should he so much as lay an abusive finger on you, board the first flight home."


Would you call this the ugly new face of feminism? Something Indian society is not ready for, just as it is coy over the extreme western attire on common display in our public spaces today. There are voices resonating that the Indian home is being torn asunder by feminist values. That women are rushing ahead too fast for our culture to stomach their rapid advance. There is a notion that perhaps the modern woman is inviting personal violence with her progressive attitude and western clothes.

Well, the unpalatable might as well be said that the current wisdom lays the onus for her own safety, squarely with the woman. The media keeps male hormones in a perpetual state of simmer, it is believed; the women walk around in minimal clothes, strutting their stuff so to say; they challenge the male ego with their brazenly independent attitude, what is the poor man to do? He can but wreak vengeance by raping and invading the teases who anyway, are only asking for what they deserve!


The tragedy with rape is manifold. Not many can see beyond the victim blaming and "men will be men" slant to the devastating and lifelong effect it has on the body, soul and spirit of the victim. Not for nothing has life after rape been called a "living death".

What kind of a cruel and ruthless society are we, to heap more guilt on the victim of a phenomenon known to breed self-blame as the one consistent long term symptom.