On 12th June, 1993 ‘Beeji’ was murdered
in the middle of the night, sleeping by herself, as she had done for some
thirty years, in her 76, Idgah Colony home at Agra. The assailants tied her up
with her own dusters and there were signs of struggle. Just the week before, Mom
and Ruby had been there with her, getting the place done up and white washed. Between
this event and the night of 12th June, I happened to pass through
Agra by train. Every nerve told me to get off and look her up, there were
practical issues. To this day, I regret not having the courage to listen to my
heart. I was never to see her again.
On 30th April 2008, Aqseer lost her grandfather.
He had fractured his leg and was not healing well. During one slot in that year’s
NLSIU term, there was a crack of an opportunity to visit him at Hyderabad. She
expressed a strong desire but we rationalized her out of it, suggesting a
later, more convenient date. It was not to be.
I spoke with my senior school classmate and
friend, Neeru Baijal a few times on the phone, while she was recovering from an
eight year old lymphoma in 2005. I said I wanted to meet her. She thought I
should come by when she is home from the hospital. I should have heeded my own head. On 11 June
of that year, I got an early morning sms from her sister Preeti, saying Neeru
had passed away the night before.
I have learnt that the perfect moment does not
exist. Now. Now. Now. Now is all we have. If the heart is bursting with love,
say so. If you admire someone, let them know. If someone inspires you,
acknowledge the fact. If you sense someone’s pain and loss, reach out. The
moment may pass, never to come back again.
All too often, we expend ourselves just hovering
over plans. Plan to buy x; plan to meet y; plan to learn z; plan to try m ;
instead, if we just picked up the phone and placed that dreaded call; punched that key in
the ignition and fetched up at the intimidating door; chucked laziness out of the
window and registered for the daunting class…….if only we agonized and weighed
and debated a bit less and got on with it a bit more, we would be happier,
better fulfilled, more useful.
It is simple maths. It is called the Law of
averages. You have got to do a whole lot to build up an average much like the “sower”
who has to sow first, to reap later. Sure, some seed will get swept away, some will be eaten up, and some will fall into thorns but a good number will also find fertile ground and
bring forth a bounty.
Plain and simple therefore…..do not think too much, just do it!
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